Homemaker...

Tomorrow I will teach the lesson "Preparing to Become an Eternal Companion." In preparing this lesson, I was struck by the term Homemaker. The stereotype is the stay at home mom who cooks, cleans, and sews.

What strikes me about this lesson is that preparing to become an eternal companion is more than just learning to cook, clean, sew and take care of a home. Preparing to become an eternal companion also means educating yourself, both in spiritual and secular matters.

I have never been one to rely on the testimony of others, and I knew that as a wife this would continue. I did not want to be a wife who relied on her husband's spirituality instead of my own. Heavenly Father has an eternal companion, and I am convinced that she is just as spiritually strong as he is. As a young woman, I knew that to be a good wife and mother, I had to have my own spiritual strength.

I have also never been one to rely on the intelligence of others to get me through life. Truth be told, I have always been super competitive in academics. I know it sounds vain, but I like being intelligent. As a student, I liked doing well in school, and I loved to be the smartest in the class. I always knew that I would go to college, but at a young woman, I was always told that my husband's education was more important than my own. To this I always thought, "Um, that is CRAP!  Why should my husband's education be more important than my own?"

The thought of marrying a man who put his own education above my own was deplorable and just plain wrong. My education is just as important as my husband. And if a man was going to be my eternal companion, he should not only understand that, but respect it as well.

Back to the word homemaker. It is my responsibility to make my house a home.  I am a good cook. I do the laundry, I keep my house clean. I have a sewing machine, but I really have no interest in sewing.   However, making a home is more than just those things. I am a good mother; I love my sons. I take care of them. I nurture them. But being a wife and mother means more than that. Being an educated woman makes for a better wife and mother; it makes for a better homemaker. If my husband comes home and cannot carry on an intelligent conversation with me, then what is the point?  If I do not understand basic economics and household finances, then what is the point? If I cannot help my children with their homework because all I wanted to be when I grew up was a wife and mother, then what is the point?  If my children cannot look at their mother and see the value of education, then what is the point?

Making a home is so much more than cooking, cleaning, and sewing. When my son was three years old and asked my how planes stay in the air, I was able to answer him without using google. When my son was four years old and asked why all of his toys were made in China, I was able to answer him without turning to google. I use my college education every single day as a mother, and I use more than just my degree in English Literature and Language. My children saw their dad support me in going to school to receive my Master of Arts degree. They saw me supporting their dad while he received his own MBA.  (We are not completely crazy; we got our degrees at different times.) My children saw the blessings that have come from the sacrifices we made for our education. Our children have watched as we became better people.  My children know that our house is a home because of all of these things.

I truly hope that as I teach the girls, they understand that being a homemaker is more than the stereotype. There is a greater responsibility to making a home than just being able to cook, clean, and sew.

Shortsightedness and American arrogance. I am guilty

As a rule, I do not talk politics when talking teaching; however, I had an interesting experience this weekend that got me thinking.

I had lunch with a friend whose parents are Canadian. My friend and I share similar political views and both of us are extremely against socialized medicine. Normally my friend and her parents agree on most things political, but this is one thing they completely disagree upon. Her parents keep telling her how much "the U.S. is going to LOVE socialize medicine." Her parents rave about how excellent it has been for their own health, and they love the fact that everything is "free." In spite of the fact that her mom had to wait almost two years to get her cancerous growth looked at because there were other Canadian citizens with more "life threatening" problems, and in spite of the fact that after her dad's hip replacement he was given absolutely no physical therapy and now struggles to get into a car, they still believe socialist medicine is the best thing for citizens. They are excited, actually giddy, at the possibility that their daughter will be able to experience such greatness. My friend is just as perplexed as I am about the whole situation. She is actually angry at the treatment her parents received under socialist medicine. She has said as much to them, but they still love it. They have no complaints. Interesting.

Now, I will not go into more of my feelings on the issue, other than to say I am clearly not a fan of socialism (which is an understatement to say the least).

What surprised me after pondering this conversation was my own American arrogance and shortsightedness. I tacitly and unconsciously assume that if you are Mormon, you are in favor of democracy. Now, it is not as if I am ignorant of or bias against other governments, I just always associate agency with democracy.  I have never lived in another country, I was raised a patriot, and I love democracy. During and after the missionary lessons, I became more so. Democracy and the Restored Gospel work together.

But as I was thinking about my friend and her parents, trying to understand their perspective, the 12th Article of Faith kept popping into my head.

"We believe in being subject to kings, presidents, rulers, and magistrates, in obeying, honoring, and sustaining the law."

It does not say the democratic law; it just says the law. And then it hit me; it is not about socialism and democracy. There are things about my government that I don't like, just as there are things about other governments that I don't like. I am subject to the law and the confines of my own government, just as my friend's parents are.

You can love socialism and still be a good and faithful Latter Day Saint. You can love a monarchy and still be a good and faithful Latter Day Saint. You can love a parliament and still be a good and faithful Latter Day Saint.  To be a good and faithful Latter Day Saint, you are subject to the law of the land and you should obey, honor, and sustain the law of your land...wherever that may be.

Now, I know that I simplified this issue quite a bit, but without writing a book on the whole thing, this seemed to work. But please, if you feel so inclined to comment, whether do agree or disagree, please do so.

I love little inspirations that make me feel smarter.

As I was writing

As I was writing my last post  my youngest son read over my shoulder and said, "Mom, you have a lot of favorite students." I smiled. He then said, "I know who is going to be your favorite student when I am in high school."

I leaned over and kissed his head and said, "You will be." And then I said, "You and your brother will always be my favorite everything."

And it is true. They are my favorite everything, and everyone knows it. My husband and sons are my life. They are the reason I breathe in and out everyday. They are the reason my heart beats every single day.

Even though I know that my children will not be in my class, I look forward to them being in my school. I know that there will be challenges, but there will be blessings as well. I look forward to them coming to my classroom and asking for money to go to the school store. I look forward to them asking me for a pass to class because they are running a couple of minutes late. I look forward to having the weekly lunch I plan to have with each of them when they are in high school.

Of course, all of that is years away. Right now I am thoroughly enjoying sports practices and Cub Scouts, tournaments and games, the annoying Suite Life of Zach and Cody and iCarly, and quiet nights spent watching American Idol and Wipe Out.

I am enjoying my youngest leaning his head on my arm and reading as I type. I am home. It is not quiet, but it is peaceful. I am a mom who spends most afternoons running from one place to another and who doesn't sit on the couch until after dinner is eaten and the kitchen picked up. I am a mom who still wakes up in the middle of the night to check on her sons. To put the blankets back on them after they have kicked them off. I am the mom who walks through the house seventeen times a day turning off lights that the boys have left on. I am the mom who kisses fevered foreheads and rubs the back of her sick children until they fall asleep.

I am a happy mom.

Favorites

Some teachers say that they do not have favorite students. Those teachers lie. We all have favorite students, and none of us can explain why some kids are our favorites and others are not.

My only explanation is that some kids crawl into my heart and stay there. It is like friendship; sometimes we just cannot help it. JJ is just one of many favorite students.

My LDS students struggle with JJ...and they do not understand why I adore him as much as I do. In their world, I should only adore kids who have high standards. Kids who don't drink. Who don't smoke. Who don't have sex. My favorite students should be the students that share my standards.

It is true, some of my favorite students have been LDS. Good LDS kids. Kids going on missions and who will marry in the Temple one day.

But, it is also true, that most of the kids that I adore. Most of my favorite kids are the kids with questionable standards. Kids with tempers. Kids who make wrong choices on a regular basis. Kids who don't go to college. Kids who a lot of people forget.

I have been asked on more than one occasion why I care so much about kids who seem not to care about anyone but themselves. And I struggle to answer in a way that people understand. And sometimes when I am not thinking about it at all, the answer comes to mind mind with crystal clear clarity. I care about these kids because everyone else writes them off. I champion for these kids because no one else does. I love these kids because they need to know more than anything that they are loved. The good kids are always favored. They always know that they are loved. There is a line of teachers fighting for them. Fighting to have them in class. Fighting to get them into the best schools. I have learned in my short teaching career that I get the most satisfaction out of fighting for kids who do not typically have a champion. For kids who have seen the ugliness of the world and are not afraid of it. I am drawn to the kids who are not the good kids. These kids are not the ones teachers fight for; however, these are the kids that I love having in my classroom.

When I first became a teacher, I remember saying a prayer. I remember asking Heavenly Father to bless me to remember that every students I meet is His child. To remember that He loves each one of these kids as much as He loves me. I continue to say that prayer every single day. And I know that the Lord has blessed me with this knowledge. I know that the Lord has put me here right now, to let each of these kids know that they are loved.

I am grateful that I am drawn to these kids. They have changed my life. They have made me a better teacher. A better Mother. A better Latter Day Saint.

And maybe it is as Mark Twain once said, "Love is not a product of reasoning and statistics. It just comes...and cannot explain itself."

I am happy with that.

For a change...I am not talking about change.

I was surprised at school today by a graduate. He walked into my classroom when my back was turned. I turned around and there he was! I was so excited that I am pretty sure I let out a small scream as I pulled him into a hug.

Now, if you know me, you already know that I love it when graduates come back to visit. But this visit was a special one. JJ joined the military just after his graduation, and I was honored to be there when he graduated boot camp. He just got back from his first deployment. To say that I am immensely proud of him is an understatement.

He told me he didn't call because he wanted to surprise me. While I knew he was in town, I was still surprised to see him in my classroom today. I adore this young man. He has become a friend. A good friend. It is truly my honor to have taught his young man.

We chatted about his adventures overseas. We laughed at his own idiocy that got him into trouble with his CO. I kicked him out of my class for swearing a few times and making a couple inappropriate comments that I do not allow in my classroom. He knows that he will still get kicked out for saying these things, but sometimes he cannot help himself. The funny thing is, he was good today. This is a young man who typically drops the F-bomb every other word or so. He swears more than anyone else I have ever met, yet he works incredibly hard to tame his mouth in my presence. That very fact says a lot about him.

With JJ visiting, two other former students came to visit today, too. Two more students that I adore just as much as him. Three students I adore, two boys, JJ and R and one girl JK, were sitting in my room today as I taught. They all graduated together, and they are three of my favorite members of my favorite graduating class. I love these kids...even though they are not kids anymore.

While sitting and observing my class, he and R were talking and they said something that felt true today. As I introduced them to my class, I made the comment that while he left (graduated) high school in 2009, I stayed.

JJ then said, "Yeah, but her heart left in 2009."

The class of 2009 was my class of kids, and he was one of them. It is true. I love teaching every single student, but a part of my heart left when that class left. I miss them a lot sometimes. But, in missing them I am reminded of why I love my job so much.

I never stop teaching. I never stop learning. I love these kids; they are a part of who I am. They will continue to learn and grow and live their lives, and I will continue to teach the students who come after them. And as I do so, I hope to continue to make as much an impression upon other students as I have made on them.

And as I continue teaching, I will continue to hope and pray that I will always have students who will change my life, the way these three graduates have.

Still Waiting

Well, we are still waiting the change that is inevitably going to come our way. My husband and I have prayed about this separately, talked about it together, and then prayed about it together. We are both certain that a change is happening. We are also both sure that this is a necessary change in our lives. We also both feel that this will be a positive change for our family.

Now if we only knew what is going to change.

I know that there is a season for all things. Is my season as YW President up? I don't know. I know that I have learned so much from the girls. I have learned how to be a better mother, a better woman, a better teacher, and a better person. I hope that the girls have learned half as much as I have. I know that if I am going to be released that it is part of the Lord's plan for me. I also know that if I am not going to be released, then I will continue to learn and grow with these amazing and inspiring young women.

I am blessed either way, and either way, I will continue to serve the Lord to the best of my abilities.

Still...I wait.

P.S. Tonights activity was fabulous! It was fun. It was spiritual. It was far better than I imagined it to be. Happy day!

Comfort

I have been feeling oddly comfortable in my calling as YW President as of late. There has not been controversy with mothers who doubt my ability. The girls have all been getting along remarkably well. I have not felt overwhelmed or stressed at all. I am down a couple of callings in the YW organization, but even with two people missing, we are running smoothly.

This calm can only mean one of two things:

1. It is the calm before the storm, and I am in for a BIG storm.

or

2. I am going to be released soon.

Interesting. I wonder which it will be; however, I will not stress. I will enjoy the peace and prepare for Wednesday's activity. It is going to be a fun one!